THE MAGICAL MESHUGGENEH HOODIE

This is from that awful Sky Mall magazine. I brought it home because I like to make snide comments. Allevei, may that be my worst fault. Here's the picture, and with it is the scientific-sounding "explanation," which doesn't move me to pay the $79 plus S&H that they're charging. (But wait!!!) The blurb says (with random capital letters): "These are not your ordinary shirts! Why? Research shows that words written on containers of water can influence the water's structure for better or worse depending on the Intent of the word. The human body is over 70% water. We believe that these positive, loving and powerful words will have a profound effect on your entire being when worn on your own personal "container" on a daily basis. Imagine the feelings of Love, Peace, Courage, Strength, Hope and more, that you'll experience with these wonderful words printed on the inside of your clothing. Look at it this way. If everything is energy, and positive words contain a higher vibrational energy than negative words, then simply by wearing these shirts you'll be attracting positive energy into your life all day long. And you'll look pretty stylish while you do!"
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That will never work," says my cousin David. “The words have to be printed on the outside of the shirt.” I wrote back to him: “It's important to infuse the words with body cells. Otherwise it won't work. Abracadabra.” He wrote back: “Do the words have to be printed mirror image so they read correctly on the body, or do they have to be read from the cells’ point of view?” I wrote: “We can 'write' the words using a cookie press like Grandma's; then we eat the letters, getting both a sugar high and an enlivening jolt of wisdom and magic and Kaballah-style introspection. Or not. Our days were not meant to be filled with mystery and intrigue, spells and incantations. What kind of meshuggeneh comes up with the idea of words on a sweatshirt?" The library will let me check out (free; it’s a LIBRARY) a copy of Stupid Magic for Dummies. I can read it, have a good laugh, and use my $79 (plus S&H) to buy something REAL.

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My talented webmaster, Reino, sent this comment (rtanttila@comcast.net): Truly unbelievable. I don’t really know which is worse, the fact that they’re trying to market an item in this way or that some people might actually buy into it. Nevertheless, I might try writing some inspirational messages on the soles of my shoes. Heck, I might even make an experiment of it and try mirrored words, regular words, and then of course I’ll need to come up with a way of fitting some cookies into my shoes. Wait… I’m supposed to eat the cookies, right?