MOI, JE PRÉFÈRE COSTCO

I'm fully conscious of my Semitic looks and tend to overcompensate in public. I'm in line at Wal-Mart (don’t tell anyone, although my father, were he alive, would be SO proud of me), and a new cashier opens up.   She signals to me to bring my cart; but another customer waiting in another line thought he'd try to beat me to it.   So, should I stand my ground?  Should I be “nice" and give in to a bully?  While we were getting our buggies untangled from each other, I said, "I'm sorry; she was clearly asking me to bring my cart," but my paranoid inner maideleh afterwards makes me afraid that after I paid and left, the loser of this particular buggy war would say to the cashier, "Did you see how that Jew tried to edge me out?" — and whereas SHE would defend me, he might tell every single person he knows.   (Bernie Madoff should only have worried half as much as I did about how his actions reflected on our co-religionists.) I call my rabbi, and he says that no matter who’s right or wrong, we should all guard ourselves against misperceptions.  He tells me that he wears a yarmulke in public and is careful to behave himself especially well to boost respect for the Jewish people.   But what about a situation like mine at Wal-Mart?   Maybe the rabbi, had he been two seconds quicker than I was, wouldn’t even have SEEN the other person trying to jockey in with his cart, making the bully even more resentful.  Or maybe the rabbi unwittingly cuts someone off while driving; if so, then the yarmulke would make it worse. Thoughts?

And, as a follow-up . . .

HEY, JON STEWART, FUNNY AND SMART,
WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH YOUR GROCERY CART?

Jay Leno had Jon Stewart on his show a few years ago. I’m pretty sure the question was scripted, but even so, his answer was as beautiful as the last unexpected piece of a homemade batch of mandel broit.

JAY LENO: Tell me, Jon, why is it that show business seems to attract so many Jewish people?

JON STEWART:  It's because if we can entertain you, if we can make you laugh, then maybe, just maybe, you'll let us stay.

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