SEIZE THE DAYQUIL

Carpe good health, carpe Medicare, carpe irony. Okay, carpe isn't Yiddish; but here's a funny situation, and because I'm Jewish, irony appeals to me. I think it's in our DNA. Anyway, here's a set of circumstances from just before I turned 65. Pretend it's two years ago.

Health insurance for me alone is so expensive that we had to raise the deductible to $5,000 just to manage the monthly premiums. Why is it so high? Because I've had a lot of surgery and I look like a bad risk. But the kinds of surgery I've had should LOWER the premiums. The hysterectomy in 1975 means I'll never have uterine trouble; the C-section I had with Noah . . . well, I'm too old to be pregnant with the risk of another C-section, and besides, my having had a hysterectomy means no OB services will be required. I had a herniated belly button removed; I don't think I'm growing any new ones that will also have to be excised. I had knee surgery from a ski accident, but I've stopped skiing. Okay, the company's lack of logic in assessing risk is bad enough, right? Here's more. I'm eligible for Medicare on June 1. I began feeling a little congested toward the end of May, and I finally had to "take to my bed" (as our mothers used to say) for four days with what I know from past experience is bronchitis. I was determined to get over it by myself, but I couldn't hold out. I had to cave on MAY 28 and call my PCP, who tried to diagnose it over the phone for me but said he really needed to see me because it sounded more like pneumonia. He was right. I now have antibiotics and an inhaler. He'll submit the bill to my insurance, which won't pay it because I haven't met my deductible. I'm sure it's unethical for him to post-date my visit, and I didn't even want to ASK. I'm afraid he would have said, "Of COURSE not, and never darken my doorstep again." Do I really want to antagonize my doctor? How do you say "no" in Latin with bad handwriting?