We bought $30 worth of dog food at PetSmart, where they know us by name. We use their in-store grooming service, and their vet is our vet. Four hours later the mail comes, with an offer for a free toy (priced under $5) if you buy $15 worth of merchandise. Jay was going to be busy the next day, so he asked me to take the receipt and the coupon and get Muttel two new toys to replace his chewed-up schmattas. I cringed; I hate doing things like that. Jay said, “Come on, you’re a grownup. They’ll honor it.” He’s partially right about the former; he’s totally wrong about the latter. So I went the next morning. There was a line at the only cashier's station, so I didn't wait for advance approval; I just went to the toy section and picked out one toy for $2.99 (greedy? — not me) and took it to the cashier. I showed her the receipt and the coupon and I explained the situation. She couldn’t get it. Her brain refused to process the connection between the purchase and the free offer. There’s a line forming behind me, and I’m feeling guilty already! She called the manager, and we had to wait while he came from the back. The people behind me were shooting DAGGERS. I had my usual paranaoid thought about what those people were thinking: "That Jew is trying to get away with something." (See my post, "Moi, Je Préfèr Costco," below.) I tried to explain it to the manager; HE didn’t get it. Who hired these two geniuses. . . Garfield? Marmaduke? I finally said, “Look, why don’t you just let me walk out of the store with this toy and you can write it off as shoplifting?” THAT they knew how to handle.
thinking outside the MBA
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